Saturday, October 22, 2011


Life has taken over my life. I haven't blogged in quite some time. I'm feeling the need to try to express myself, but without having to deal with anyone face to face. I just want to feel what I'm feeling, work through it with my Lord and Savior, and move on in my life. Hopefully after having done so, I will experience a better quality of life.

I am having breast surgery on Tuesday, October 25. No definitive signs of cancer have been found, but I have had some cysts to calcify over the last 2 years. Which is not a good sign. So with the words of my daughter "Mom, why are you just waiting for something to happen-- do something now!" , I elected to have this surgery.

Why would I do such a thing? Well, they are large, they are painful, my back is in constant pain from hoisting them up and carrying them around-- and Rachel was right. Why wait for something to happen. I already am considered to be at moderate risk for breast cancer.

I have always thought I would be much happier with smaller breasts. And I do think I will once all is said and done. I am trying not to think of the what ifs, but it is difficult. Even more difficult when you know you are already at moderate risk. Yet, I will do what I have to do and know that "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world" . "The joy of the Lord is my strength" and "With God, all things are possible". Fear has no place here,yet it tries to creep in. Maybe, this is a lesson in faith and trust for me. Am I ready for the Lord to take me to a new level of our relationship? I am tired, I am weak and I am worn--this body has been through a lot in it's lifetime. So I will lay down my burden and take on the yoke of Jesus-- for His yoke is easy-- He has already done it for my, so I accept that He is with me every step of the way.