Update on Life

Well, I had my surgery as planned all went well, except for that throwing up thing after anesthesia. I tried to tell them, they gave me phenergan 3 times, plus a couple of other things, but it just didn't work. My doctor was able to remove all cysts, and hopefully they won't come back. I've never been a size A before--NEVER! It feels great. I didn't think I would ever begin to feel better, but I finally am. My pathology report came back with no cancer cells or pre-cancer cells, so I thank the good Lord for that. My next appointment with my doctor is Monday. I'm hoping I'll be released.

The holidays are just around the corner. Thankfully, I was able to do most of my shopping before the surgery and my hubby did some online for me.

Speaking of my hubby, he was awesome during all this time. I gotta admit and he knows it, I was a little worried about him being my nurse afterwards. Taking care of my drain tubes, cleaning around my incisions--not his kinda thing. I mean, he passed out at the birth of our 3 children and he didn't even see anything-- just being in the room. But he was totally amazing. Did what needed to be done and just got through it. I on the other hand would get queasy every time something needed to be drained or changed, etc.

I really feel a new kind of compassion for those who do suffer through breast cancer. Granted, I didn't have breast cancer, I didn't have to go through radiation or chemo, but the surgery alone was enough to give me some insight. Waiting a week to find out if you do or don't have it, being so helpless during recovery. For now, I have no ideas of what I can do about it- this new found compassion. I felt compassion before, but not in the way I do now. It will take some time and some prayer, but God will show me what I am to do.

Merry Christmas to anyone who may read this, be Blessed, and don't take anything for granted.

LIFE

Life has taken over my life. I haven't blogged in quite some time. I'm feeling the need to try to express myself, but without having to deal with anyone face to face. I just want to feel what I'm feeling, work through it with my Lord and Savior, and move on in my life. Hopefully after having done so, I will experience a better quality of life.

I am having breast surgery on Tuesday, October 25. No definitive signs of cancer have been found, but I have had some cysts to calcify over the last 2 years. Which is not a good sign. So with the words of my daughter "Mom, why are you just waiting for something to happen-- do something now!" , I elected to have this surgery.

Why would I do such a thing? Well, they are large, they are painful, my back is in constant pain from hoisting them up and carrying them around-- and Rachel was right. Why wait for something to happen. I already am considered to be at moderate risk for breast cancer.

I have always thought I would be much happier with smaller breasts. And I do think I will once all is said and done. I am trying not to think of the what ifs, but it is difficult. Even more difficult when you know you are already at moderate risk. Yet, I will do what I have to do and know that "Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world" . "The joy of the Lord is my strength" and "With God, all things are possible". Fear has no place here,yet it tries to creep in. Maybe, this is a lesson in faith and trust for me. Am I ready for the Lord to take me to a new level of our relationship? I am tired, I am weak and I am worn--this body has been through a lot in it's lifetime. So I will lay down my burden and take on the yoke of Jesus-- for His yoke is easy-- He has already done it for my, so I accept that He is with me every step of the way.

Rachel's Jr. Prom

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Guest Post

Today's post comes from a vibrant young enthusiastic writer~ my daughter. She writes some awesome stuff (no, I'm not biased, trust me, you will agree) and I am proud to feature a post from her on my blog. If you get a chance swing over to her blog at http://echoessilencepatienceandgrace.com

Choosing My Own Way Of Life

echoessilencepatienceandgrace | March 2, 2011 at 7:24 pm | Tags: life | Categories: Twaddle | URL: http://wp.me/pVnVH-4g

"Sometimes, I've believed more than six impossible things before breakfast."

I do all sorts of crazy crap with my friends just because it's fun, we call it making memories.

I don't care what people think about me, never have. I march to the beat of my own drum, always will.

A lot of people have told me they think I've changed...honestly, I just believe I'm in the process of finding myself.

I've made mistakes in my life; and I'm guessing I'll probably make a few more before I finally bite the dust. But that's okay with me. I believe some of the best learning experiences of your life are your biggest mistakes.

Sometimes, I laugh at things that aren't funny and I smile at things that don't matter.

I respect myself.

I'm not afraid to take a stand for what I believe even if it means I'm standing alone.

I am broken, alone, empty and confused some days.

I have also been made whole; never been more sure of myself; and felt overwhelming love.

Some days I am under the impression I am bullet proof.

I am smart. I am strong. I am stubborn.

I'm a fighter.

I will probably offend you at some point. You'll get over it.

I'm full of secrets.

I've witnessed and survived things most people don't even have to face in their nightmares.

You mess with my family or friends, and you mess with me.

I am beautiful, inside and out.

I don't easily forget.

I'll never let you see me cry.

I put up walls for a reason.

I listen and I observe. A lot of people take this as being shy. They're wrong.

If I've never met you, I can tell you a lot about yourself just by looking at your shoes. Think I'm lying? Try me.

I'm a bookworm.

I write. A lot. A whole freaking lot.

I am athletic but I am not graceful.

I am both silly and sarcastic.

I have big dreams and great taste in music.

I am mysterious.

I am spontaneous.

I am driven.

I am determined, passionate, old-fashioned and a little bit crazy.

I make wishes on stars and yellow lights at intersections.

I still watch Disney movies and I love to color.

I have known heart break...with this comes the understanding that some hurts never fully heal, but the pain does become bearable.

No matter how many times I fail, I will get back up.

I'm proud of where I come from.

I'm proud of who I am.

I will be unforgettable, simply because I'm me.

And I will always live for the moments that I can't put into words.

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Saturday 9

Okay, so my Saturday 9 is quickly becoming my Monday Morning Memes.I can't figure out how to get subscribed to the Saturday 9 so that the questions are sent to me. So I go to my friend Kristen's blog and copy the questions from her blog. How lame is that? Sorry, I just don't know much about computers or the web. Heck, it's a miracle that I'm able to blog, even as rare as that is.

Here are this week's quesitons:

1. Tell us about a time that you had way too much Jose' Cuervo. Um....Never, I've never tasted the stuff.

2. Do you agree with the following statement: "The older you get, the faster time goes by". Absolutely, I mean I know in reality time does not speed up, but it sure seems that way. When your babies aren't babies anymore, and you are constantly in a rush, just to keep up with them, I just wish it would slow back down again. The older I get the more difficult it is to get everything done in a 24 hour period is a more accurate statement.

3. What do you usually do in your down time? I am a an NCIS fanatic, so I love to curl up with my heating pad (cause my back is usually hurting) and just watch some good NCIS, or if that's not available, I love to read, right now particularly about nutrition, and sometimes, I just paint and that takes me away from this world.

4. When it comes to the opposite sex do you feel you have a grasp on them - or do they continue to surprise you? If I had been asked this same question 15-20 years ago, I would have definitely said I have a grasp on them, but I've grown a lot in the last 22 years, and so has my spouse, and he has surprised me quite a few times over the last several years.

5. What is your hometown famous for? Piggie Park a drive-in resturant is pretty famous around here, but even more recently and more widely known is the Zack Brown Band, yep, he came from little ole' T-town. As a matter of fact, I used to babysit one of his band members--isn't that a hoot!

6. How many romantic relationships have you had? Well, romance is not exactly dear hubbys specialty, but he does try, on occasion, when it's like our anniversary or something special.

7. What is the best concert you have ever been to? Well, I've only been to one, it was a Point of Grace concert, and it was nice, but I guess I'm just SO MUCH NOT a fan of LOUDNESS, that I really truly didn't enjoy it that much, and is probably the reason I haven't gone to another one.

8. Which famous person would you like to meet? I can't really say that I would particularly LIKE to meet a famous person. They are just people, so there is not anyone I really particularly admire that happens to be famous that would drive me to want to meet them. However, if I did meet someone famous, it would be pretty neat I suppose.

9. Has a newspaper or television reporter ever interviewed you? If so, what were the circumstances and what did you think when you read what you said? I'm content to say, that I have never been interviewed by a newspaper or television reporter. I am more the keep to myself type anyway.

The Great Fairy Rescue Playset)

 The above picture is of my version of the Fairy House from Tinkerbell's movie, "The Great Fairy Rescue". I made this for a sweet little girl that I babysit that turned 4 on Monday. I can't wait to give it to her today when she comes over! I know the pic is a little blurry, my son took it with his phone, but if you click on it to open as a file it should get larger for you to view. Let me know how you think I did on it! I love comments.

Saturday 9

1. What celebrity do you think is the MOST foolish? It is kinda hard for me to judge that since I don't personally know any celebrity's and I know things in the media get blown out of proportion. But I will say after watching several shows of Jon and Kate plus 8, Dancing with the Stars 2010 (which totally turned me off from that season) and Sarah Palin's Alaska -the episode with Kate Gosselin, that she (Kate Gosselin) has definitely not done anything to promote her image in a good way. The earlier episodes of Jon and Kate plus 8 were endearing, the latter ones, not so much. I know they both made mistakes in the marriage-- that's not what I take issue with. It's just that she seems so ungrateful and spoiled now-- not the great home mom of 8 kids she first started out to be. Not that I condone Jon and his actions, but at least he does try to keep out of the media.

2. What are 5 things you don't care about? Facebook, what kind of car I drive- as long as it runs and has heat and air, the Emmy's, the Oscar's, and the SAG awards, and sports, oh, wait...that's 6, sorry.

3. What 'issue' do you think your opinion is so right about that you end up trying to sway others to your point of view? Probably the nutrition issue, I think we have been dumbed down in believing what is good for us and what is not. Not that I know everything, I am still learning so much. But I feel pretty passionate about that.

4. What personality do you like to listen to on the radio? I don't. I don't like to listen to anyone talk on the radio too much. If I'm listening to the radio I listen to Intentional Living, but I don't particularly like listening to "talk" radio. I want to hear good Christian music when I listen to the radio.

5. What culture are you facinated by? For the last several years, my oldest daughter and I have been facinated with the Irish culture. I have a natural facination with all cultures, anything that is different from what I've known and why. Particularly Irish though since I know we family roots there.

6. You are alone with your lover's diary. What do you do? psssh,, he won't even read a book let alone write a diary -- are you kidding me?

7. What frustrates you? Mostly, myself.

8. Do you remember the first time you were on the internet? What did you do first? I can barely remember yesterday, anything before that I can not be held accountable for.

9. What was the biggest fight you have ever had with someone? This blog has a policy of no mooning. Those things are over and done with, don't dwell on the past.

Saturday 9

In an effort to get myself to blogging a bit more, I've signed up with Saturday 9. Now I know today is not Saturday, and I will probably be late again in the future. But hey, it's a start. Here are the 9 questions from this past Saturday.

1. Have you ever been to Japan? If not would you like to travel there? As a matter of fact, I have. I was born in Tokyo, Japan~~don't get too thrilled for me, I was born there. My father was in service over seas. I would like to travel back there, the sites I've seen on slides my mother and father took while there were there are phenomenal.

2. Have you ever played a game that required the removal of clothing? I am sad to say, yes. I was a small child though, 8 years old to be exact, and did not fully understand what was happening until it was too late and the shame of it stayed with me for most of my life.

3. Have you ever dated one of your best friends? Yes! And I married him too!

4. Have you ever kissed someone you didn't know? No, I have not.

5. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie? I must say it is a tie between "Finding Never Land" and "Fried Green Tomatoes" and "Pride and Prejudice".

6. What feature are you most insecure about? Well, frankly, pretty much all of them. I guess my biggest peeve would be my inner thighs, they have been pudgy my whole life and I've never liked it. Now I am just pudgy all over, so I guess it matches now-- lol.

7. What do you miss most about being young? Who said I was old???? I want names, 41 is not old!!

8. Who is the most annoying musical artist ever? Okay, so I'm not a huge music buff, I'm sorry, I just can't stand for lyrics to play over and over in my head, but again, I would have to say the guy who sings "Feelings", the Beatles for the song "Michelle, My Belle" (yes, I know I was named for that song, and I hate it), and who ever wrote "This is the Song that Never Ends".

9. Have you ever applied for a job that was an internet hoax, asking for credit history and social security number? Well....kinda. I didn't give out credit history or social security number, but I did get taken for $60 that I didn't have to spare.